Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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