we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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