Dual....:-)
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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