Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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