I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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