I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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