you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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