Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
