FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
