What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
