Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
