Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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