sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
