so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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