I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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