Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
