dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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