If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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