Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
