So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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