he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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