just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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