i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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