he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
