We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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