please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
