Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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