with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
