I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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