did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
