we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
