I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
