It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
