your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Damn victory sex feels great
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