Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
