did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
