I want to stick my p in your. b.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
