He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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