I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
