we're blogging at a bar
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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