i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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