The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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