thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
