Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
