my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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