i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
