Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
