mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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