I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
