I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize