so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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