I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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