she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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