as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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