There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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