Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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