Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
